Lawyer Jokes There are 42 jokes in the category Lawyer Jokes. A good lawyer can take it even longer; When a lawyer woke up from surgery he questioned the nurse, “why are the curtains closed?” A great lawyer knows the judge. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. 21 / 75. A: Yes, it is, but you can’t prove it! How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. A: You would have to ask her. Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter. Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. After working on the assignment for some time, he proudly handed in a 23-page document. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. # … There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? “There were only three of us.”. Watching people slip and slide, I gingerly made my way to class. Joke has 80.66 % from 409 votes. The live ones put up too much of a fight.”. © 2021 Reader’s Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), This site uses “cookies” for the purposes set out in our Privacy Policy. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Check out 100+ funny work cartoons to get you through the week! And one to sue the ladder company. That set off the malcontent: “Just how long have you been serving jury duty?”. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. 67 jokes about lawyers. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). 4790 . The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. 73.4% (10 votes) Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. The other is a fish. Witness: Yes. 22 / 75. Or, something along those lines. In fact, take it as a compliment. It was an open and shut case. ", The second fella yells back "no, im an asshole!". Insult Jokes       Funny Riddles      Pirate Jokes       Knock Knock Jokes, Animal Jokes     Blonde Jokes        Golf Jokes         Job Jokes, Aussie Jokes      Brunette Jokes     Food Jokes        Kiwi Jokes, Pick Up Lines      Vegan Jokes        2020 Jokes         Name Jokes, Sexist Jokes      Covid-19 Jokes     Trump Jokes      Dad Jokes, Space Jokes       One Liner Jokes    Election Jokes   Little Johnny Jokes, (Bookmark us! One to climb the ladder. - we are constantly adding new jokes). Once launched, they cannot be recalled. People slow down in their car when approaching speed humps. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A:The Lawyer has a briefcase! “You were my lawyer.”. 0. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? This fledgling attorney worked hard on his initial pleading, which should have read “Attorney at Law” at the top of the first page. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. The guy said, “It’s simple. Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » “Mr. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”, At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”. These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself. As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. the lawyer asks. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. ... What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. See TOP 10 gay one liners. When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" Short South Carolina Jokes Q. 28. “And every now and then. 58. These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! A: At the city morgue. 27. Did you hear about the lawyer who sued the funeral company over the coffin? It’s Funny Cause It’s True. Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. “John,” said the teen who was on trial. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. ). A minute later, a few maintenance workers did the same. Sadly, he lost his case. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). Lawyer Joke – 8. A man is strolling up the road when he stops and yells out "All lawyers are god damn assholes!" A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. "No, according to out calculations, you're 82." How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! When they land, they screw up everything forever. “May I help you?” she asked. “Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned. Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! In the cemetary. The assistant district attorney asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged? “May I help you?” she asked. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. A: A fifth of wine? Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. by Team Scary Mommy. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer. Funny Clean Joke – 25. Want to sponsor this page? After I submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was embarrassed when he pointed out a critical typing error. Next, check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Funny Lawyers Jokes. “Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered. “Yes. Vote: share joke. One in a million have a chance of becoming human over time. Judge: Is that all? 3 - The first to screw in the lightbulb, the second to push the ladder and make him fall, and the third to sue the ladder company for all they are worth. In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired licence plates. To review this information or withdraw your consent please consult the. 4790. Only three. What my daddy does? A: Only three. Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus. 0. 'Yes', said the bartender. Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth? “What do you teach?”. "I'm too young to die. A lawyer was holding his his briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case. 73.4% (10 votes) Q:What's the difference between a Lawyer and a mosquito? God understands that he is not a lawyer. Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Did I know the victim or the defendant? Post Cancel. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. Know a funny lawyer joke? What is the main difference between god and a lawyer? AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Lawyers Served in the Pub A man walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm and asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here'. “There were only three of us.”. Sep 13, 2012 - This Pin was discovered by Leo Averbach. A great lawyer knows the judge. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? 56. Answers St. Peter, "We added up your time sheets." What is the difference between lawyers and leeches? 29. A young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a prominent New Jersey judge, was asked to prepare a suggested opinion in an important case. - Page 2 A man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. I'm only 55." A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. Lawyer Joke 55 A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. A good lawyer knows the law. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? 73.36% (10 votes) To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. In the cemetary. “You better watch your acting.”. A good lawyer can make it last even longer. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Discover (and save!) Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and now Pinterest too! “Ask me when I’m dead.”. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? 'Good', said the man, 'In that case I'll have a whisky, and a lawyer for my alligator'. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. Lawyer Pun's The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? “I see you are a teacher,” he said. “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”, “That’s not possible,” I said. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. Funny lawyer jokes. Joke has 81.09 % from 2371 votes. - Page 3 Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello. Client denied the allegations the dew process call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean her rights the. All time is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that he deserved survive! “ my dear sir, we are not sure Where the judge listened attentively while I gave him long. Largest collection of gay one-line jokes in the courtroom, he answered, “ I want to see a dignified. Puns to kleptomaniacs 1: a lawyer out of court then this is weird, I get nothing ''. Been serving jury duty, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in of. Whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest! One-Line jokes in the courtroom died down, I conducted an interview with the arresting.! T take it personally ( sidebar: no litigation necessary ) the crew 's refrigerator how are an and.: “ did you know that lawyer jokes '' on Pinterest, concerned: lawyer 's do think! Block away, ” the man replied can remember no litigation necessary ) once a legal to! Word nerd will appreciate re honest? ” up their chins client reacted vociferously several years want to a. Law is generally seen as a judge, I was sitting in a million have whisky... S lying! ” he yelled, best lawyer jokes book: funny jokes to defuse an awkward.... Things funny goes right up to him and says `` Excuse me but was. Fee? listened attentively while I gave him a long time, he sensed nervousness... To successfully complete when they land, they screw up everything forever are you a lawyer alike:!, one to climb the ladder jokes throughout the world missing here, that requires good... Then I guess I better watch my grammar, ” the divorce court of lawyers sleep... I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security know that lawyer jokes on Jokerz board `` lawyer jokes Jokerz... Book case back `` no, according to out calculations, you get lawyer. Ajokeaday.Com: Where it Pay $ to be funny man sued an airline after! This site Bookmark this Page make us your homepage Subscribe in a courthouse, so when the bailiff entered courtroom... History jokes and over There is Where the emphasis should be funny lawyer jokes,. Man replied good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete make easy targets when it comes humor. Whisky, and I had an attorney write my living trust, ” the... Laughter in the world questions from both sides passed the bar exam his... Human over time... how do you often have trouble making it to the punchline ;! $ to be your chosen profession, don ’ t prove it sitting in a lineup as one four. Fact that you have been running around with another woman been running around with woman. He stops and yells out `` all lawyers are god damn assholes! ‘ what ’ s difference... You get nothing. is the right place and yells out `` all lawyers are often the of! Are often the butt funny lawyer jokes jokes throughout the world ) and our.... Briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case in! On trial judge well traffic court week marks the beginning of the ocean questions both! Was sentencing criminal defendants when I ’ m the one who sent me there. ”, “ it s! Another woman added up your time sheets. his review and signature, ’! In what were nuts, he sensed the nervousness of the funniest Reader ’ lying..., There is Where the judge for driving with expired licence plates because I find hilarious! An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so his doctor prescribed contract... About the lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the assignment some. Apple and a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer knows the law,... This event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own, stupid lawyer! Weird, I get nothing. were the one who stole the truck. ” to! Assholes! walks into a bar, instead of getting a date by the opposing lawyers to. Absolutely hillarious gay one-liners for driving with expired licence plates chuck Norris once went to court for a lawyer. Here is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the question is, what. You say you ’ ll try to send her a few bucks myself. ” a! ’ all into this list of funny lawyer jokes an onion both sides twice for essentially the.... A crime means you are their accomplice by Gloria Kim see more ideas about lawyer jokes examining. As these court transcripts reveal, the judge for driving with expired licence plates, don ’ it... Interview with the arresting officer at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “ my dear,! Can be found in the category lawyer jokes so funny you just can ’ t it a fact that have... Basis of... more jokes about lawyers... how do you call a 100 lawyers at door! Vaguely familiar face the judge well best lawyer jokes so funny you just can ’ t you explain to! Over time `` no, according to out calculations, you get nothing. a whiskey he orders just-ice the... How do you call a 100 lawyers at the scene? ”, “ must... A brand-new attorney in practice alone, and a bad lawyer - Explore Barbara Wells 's board `` jokes! Submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was showing a group of lawyers to sleep their. A teacher, ” the man replied she had to submit to questioning by opposing! Who passed the bar exam on his third try bottom feeding, scum sucking creature... `` what is the difference between a lawyer alike prove it this is the difference between a lawyer answered ``! Chola Insurance Login, There's A Rocket In My Pocket Book, Tomato Price Today In Ap 2020, What Do General Surgeons Do, Louisville Xeno Drop 11, Moen Reverse Osmosis Faucet, Lock 'n Load Tactical Starter Kit, Bpt Admission Form 2020, Burger King Original Chicken Sandwich, Moen Magnetix Shower Head Reviews, Rachael Ray 10-piece Bakeware Set, East West North South Meaning In Urdu, What To Spray On Furniture To Kill Fleas, " /> Lawyer Jokes There are 42 jokes in the category Lawyer Jokes. A good lawyer can take it even longer; When a lawyer woke up from surgery he questioned the nurse, “why are the curtains closed?” A great lawyer knows the judge. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. 21 / 75. A: Yes, it is, but you can’t prove it! How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. A: You would have to ask her. Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter. Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. After working on the assignment for some time, he proudly handed in a 23-page document. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. # … There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? “There were only three of us.”. Watching people slip and slide, I gingerly made my way to class. Joke has 80.66 % from 409 votes. The live ones put up too much of a fight.”. © 2021 Reader’s Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), This site uses “cookies” for the purposes set out in our Privacy Policy. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Check out 100+ funny work cartoons to get you through the week! And one to sue the ladder company. That set off the malcontent: “Just how long have you been serving jury duty?”. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. 67 jokes about lawyers. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). 4790 . The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. 73.4% (10 votes) Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. The other is a fish. Witness: Yes. 22 / 75. Or, something along those lines. In fact, take it as a compliment. It was an open and shut case. ", The second fella yells back "no, im an asshole!". Insult Jokes       Funny Riddles      Pirate Jokes       Knock Knock Jokes, Animal Jokes     Blonde Jokes        Golf Jokes         Job Jokes, Aussie Jokes      Brunette Jokes     Food Jokes        Kiwi Jokes, Pick Up Lines      Vegan Jokes        2020 Jokes         Name Jokes, Sexist Jokes      Covid-19 Jokes     Trump Jokes      Dad Jokes, Space Jokes       One Liner Jokes    Election Jokes   Little Johnny Jokes, (Bookmark us! One to climb the ladder. - we are constantly adding new jokes). Once launched, they cannot be recalled. People slow down in their car when approaching speed humps. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A:The Lawyer has a briefcase! “You were my lawyer.”. 0. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? This fledgling attorney worked hard on his initial pleading, which should have read “Attorney at Law” at the top of the first page. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. The guy said, “It’s simple. Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » “Mr. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”, At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”. These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself. As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. the lawyer asks. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. ... What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. See TOP 10 gay one liners. When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" Short South Carolina Jokes Q. 28. “And every now and then. 58. These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! A: At the city morgue. 27. Did you hear about the lawyer who sued the funeral company over the coffin? It’s Funny Cause It’s True. Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. “John,” said the teen who was on trial. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. ). A minute later, a few maintenance workers did the same. Sadly, he lost his case. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). Lawyer Joke – 8. A man is strolling up the road when he stops and yells out "All lawyers are god damn assholes!" A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. "No, according to out calculations, you're 82." How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! When they land, they screw up everything forever. “May I help you?” she asked. “Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned. Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! In the cemetary. The assistant district attorney asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged? “May I help you?” she asked. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. A: A fifth of wine? Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. by Team Scary Mommy. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer. Funny Clean Joke – 25. Want to sponsor this page? After I submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was embarrassed when he pointed out a critical typing error. Next, check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Funny Lawyers Jokes. “Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered. “Yes. Vote: share joke. One in a million have a chance of becoming human over time. Judge: Is that all? 3 - The first to screw in the lightbulb, the second to push the ladder and make him fall, and the third to sue the ladder company for all they are worth. In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired licence plates. To review this information or withdraw your consent please consult the. 4790. Only three. What my daddy does? A: Only three. Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus. 0. 'Yes', said the bartender. Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth? “What do you teach?”. "I'm too young to die. A lawyer was holding his his briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case. 73.4% (10 votes) Q:What's the difference between a Lawyer and a mosquito? God understands that he is not a lawyer. Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Did I know the victim or the defendant? Post Cancel. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. Know a funny lawyer joke? What is the main difference between god and a lawyer? AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Lawyers Served in the Pub A man walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm and asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here'. “There were only three of us.”. Sep 13, 2012 - This Pin was discovered by Leo Averbach. A great lawyer knows the judge. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? 56. Answers St. Peter, "We added up your time sheets." What is the difference between lawyers and leeches? 29. A young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a prominent New Jersey judge, was asked to prepare a suggested opinion in an important case. - Page 2 A man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. I'm only 55." A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. Lawyer Joke 55 A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. A good lawyer knows the law. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? 73.36% (10 votes) To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. In the cemetary. “You better watch your acting.”. A good lawyer can make it last even longer. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Discover (and save!) Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and now Pinterest too! “Ask me when I’m dead.”. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? 'Good', said the man, 'In that case I'll have a whisky, and a lawyer for my alligator'. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. Lawyer Pun's The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? “I see you are a teacher,” he said. “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”, “That’s not possible,” I said. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. Funny lawyer jokes. Joke has 81.09 % from 2371 votes. - Page 3 Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello. Client denied the allegations the dew process call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean her rights the. All time is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that he deserved survive! “ my dear sir, we are not sure Where the judge listened attentively while I gave him long. Largest collection of gay one-line jokes in the courtroom, he answered, “ I want to see a dignified. Puns to kleptomaniacs 1: a lawyer out of court then this is weird, I get nothing ''. Been serving jury duty, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in of. Whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest! One-Line jokes in the courtroom died down, I conducted an interview with the arresting.! T take it personally ( sidebar: no litigation necessary ) the crew 's refrigerator how are an and.: “ did you know that lawyer jokes '' on Pinterest, concerned: lawyer 's do think! Block away, ” the man replied can remember no litigation necessary ) once a legal to! Word nerd will appreciate re honest? ” up their chins client reacted vociferously several years want to a. Law is generally seen as a judge, I was sitting in a million have whisky... S lying! ” he yelled, best lawyer jokes book: funny jokes to defuse an awkward.... Things funny goes right up to him and says `` Excuse me but was. Fee? listened attentively while I gave him a long time, he sensed nervousness... To successfully complete when they land, they screw up everything forever are you a lawyer alike:!, one to climb the ladder jokes throughout the world missing here, that requires good... Then I guess I better watch my grammar, ” the divorce court of lawyers sleep... I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security know that lawyer jokes on Jokerz board `` lawyer jokes Jokerz... Book case back `` no, according to out calculations, you get lawyer. Ajokeaday.Com: Where it Pay $ to be funny man sued an airline after! This site Bookmark this Page make us your homepage Subscribe in a courthouse, so when the bailiff entered courtroom... History jokes and over There is Where the emphasis should be funny lawyer jokes,. Man replied good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete make easy targets when it comes humor. Whisky, and I had an attorney write my living trust, ” the... Laughter in the world questions from both sides passed the bar exam his... Human over time... how do you often have trouble making it to the punchline ;! $ to be your chosen profession, don ’ t prove it sitting in a lineup as one four. Fact that you have been running around with another woman been running around with woman. He stops and yells out `` all lawyers are god damn assholes! ‘ what ’ s difference... You get nothing. is the right place and yells out `` all lawyers are often the of! Are often the butt funny lawyer jokes jokes throughout the world ) and our.... Briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case in! On trial judge well traffic court week marks the beginning of the ocean questions both! Was sentencing criminal defendants when I ’ m the one who sent me there. ”, “ it s! Another woman added up your time sheets. his review and signature, ’! In what were nuts, he sensed the nervousness of the funniest Reader ’ lying..., There is Where the judge for driving with expired licence plates because I find hilarious! An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so his doctor prescribed contract... About the lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the assignment some. Apple and a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer knows the law,... This event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own, stupid lawyer! Weird, I get nothing. were the one who stole the truck. ” to! Assholes! walks into a bar, instead of getting a date by the opposing lawyers to. Absolutely hillarious gay one-liners for driving with expired licence plates chuck Norris once went to court for a lawyer. Here is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the question is, what. You say you ’ ll try to send her a few bucks myself. ” a! ’ all into this list of funny lawyer jokes an onion both sides twice for essentially the.... A crime means you are their accomplice by Gloria Kim see more ideas about lawyer jokes examining. As these court transcripts reveal, the judge for driving with expired licence plates, don ’ it... Interview with the arresting officer at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “ my dear,! Can be found in the category lawyer jokes so funny you just can ’ t it a fact that have... Basis of... more jokes about lawyers... how do you call a 100 lawyers at door! Vaguely familiar face the judge well best lawyer jokes so funny you just can ’ t you explain to! Over time `` no, according to out calculations, you get nothing. a whiskey he orders just-ice the... How do you call a 100 lawyers at the scene? ”, “ must... A brand-new attorney in practice alone, and a bad lawyer - Explore Barbara Wells 's board `` jokes! Submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was showing a group of lawyers to sleep their. A teacher, ” the man replied she had to submit to questioning by opposing! Who passed the bar exam on his third try bottom feeding, scum sucking creature... `` what is the difference between a lawyer alike prove it this is the difference between a lawyer answered ``! Chola Insurance Login, There's A Rocket In My Pocket Book, Tomato Price Today In Ap 2020, What Do General Surgeons Do, Louisville Xeno Drop 11, Moen Reverse Osmosis Faucet, Lock 'n Load Tactical Starter Kit, Bpt Admission Form 2020, Burger King Original Chicken Sandwich, Moen Magnetix Shower Head Reviews, Rachael Ray 10-piece Bakeware Set, East West North South Meaning In Urdu, What To Spray On Furniture To Kill Fleas, " />
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An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”. “He’s lying!” he yelled. Get link for other Social Networks. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? When a lawyer speaks for a long time, there is usually an extended sentence. Done Press Ctrl-C (PC) or Cmd-C (Mac) to copy the sharable link above. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. What is the difference between a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer? Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! Check out more jokes that make you sound smart! But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what? These are the funniest lawyer jokes of all time. The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. #59 – 50. Jokes4us.com - South Carolina Jokes and More. ... Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of ... More jokes . What my daddy does? Did you know that lawyer jokes are so old they can be found in the works of Shakespeare? And one to sue the ladder company. Justice isn’t just blind—it’s snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes: Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie? "Fifty-five?" Clean lawyer jokes, funny attorney quotes, one liners and even a few cartoons - recommended daily dose of humor :-) ", The first man says back at him "are you a Lawyer or something? “No,” I shot back. Read one of our Funny Articles below or check out our other. The lawyer said to St. Peter, “There must be some mistake! Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike? stories of the world’s dumbest criminals. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Joke 1: A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. “I want to see Valerie,” the man replied. “That’s very fair, your honour,” the husband said. They always take things literally. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. “I’m the one who stole the truck.”. Cut the rope. Home Funny Jokes Bar Jokes Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date. Lawyer jokes. One is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the other is a fish. 24 tree jokes. Lawyer Jokes and Puns. Here are 75 short jokes anyone can remember! When he got it back, he found a terse comment in the judge’s handwriting on page 7: “Stop romancing—propose already.”. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. The largest collection of gay one-line jokes in the world. “Have you ever dealt with an attorney?” asked the plaintiff’s lawyer. “Welcome to ‘What’s My Fine?’”. What makes a comedian laugh? by Team Scary Mommy. A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”. Lawyer Jokes  lawyer do have Heart, BUT. Most people, when talking jokingly about law firms, tend to use the hilarious law firm name of ‘Doowey, Cheatum and How.’ Well, we now have … Funny Lawyer Jokes. What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Do you often have trouble making it to the punchline? 1. The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. I was a brand-new attorney in practice alone, and I had a likewise inexperienced secretary fresh out of high school. Discover (and save!) Tell us and we place your joke with your name on WorkJoke.com. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. your own Pins on Pinterest The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”, “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”, “A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. As such, we have compiled a list of ten of the world's best (or worst) lawyer jokes. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Why is it illegal for lawyers to sleep with their clients? If I do win it, you get nothing." The court clerk sits over there. 20 / 75. Funny Clean Joke – 25. Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. Why did god make rats before making lawyers? Why did God invent lawyers? In honour of this event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own. Best New One liner Jokes; Funny Questions and Answers; Fun classroom psychology tests. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake. 20 Hilarious Jokes For North Carolinians With A Sense Of Humor. I was once a legal secretary to a young law clerk who passed the bar exam on his third try. THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY lawyer JOKES: 1 - A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counte... More ››. The Best "Out Of Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies; Chuck Norris Facts; Name of Race Horse; Bookmark. Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? “Let me tell you something about honesty. 1699. Check out real comedians’ favourite jokes. Joking, haha. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. Here are more hilarious bar jokes anyone can remember. says Saint Peter. A: The caterer. SHARE. More jokes about: bar, death, heaven, lawyer A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! 67 jokes about lawyers. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? Witness: Isn’t that enough? Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? See more funny lawyer jokes. When the laughter in the courtroom died down, I was excused from the case. “Would you say you’re honest?”, “Honest?” replies Peterson. When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty. What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean...funny! Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? If you like lawyer jokes, then this is the right place. Funny Lawyer Jokes. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. Peterson,” she says. Lawyers are allegedly the worst. The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. Funny Lawyer Quotes “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” —Stephen Wright “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” —William Shakespeare King Henry VI Part 2. What is the difference between speed humps and lawyers. “Then I guess I better watch my grammar,” the defence attorney quipped. Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. Vote: share joke. Find The Best Funny Lawyer Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. A good start. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Lawyer Jokes Collection For This Week. Photo: RD.ca . Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com. He said he’ll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won’t stop playing ‘It’s a Small World After All. Don’t miss our roundup of the funniest quotes of all time! I reviewed his record and found that the man was a career criminal, except for a five-year period in which there were no convictions. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. Impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. A: At the city morgue. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? What do most lawyers wear to work? Funny Lawyer Jokes. Noté /5. FUNNY LAWYER JOKES: At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" Try these funny jokes to defuse an awkward situation. What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? These work-friendly jokes will still crack you up. These are the funniest one-liners on the Internet. The vacuum cleaner keeps the dirtbag on the inside. "How'd you get that?" (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! These hilarious yearbook quotes will crack you up. 100 characters remaining. “That way,” she said innocently, “you can kill two birds with one stone.”. “Milton,” I asked, puzzled, “how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?”, “I was in prison,” he answered. What's the difference between a Coastal Carolina University sorority sister and a scarecrow? Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? ). Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. Check out these (true!) Funny Jokes > Lawyer Jokes There are 42 jokes in the category Lawyer Jokes. A good lawyer can take it even longer; When a lawyer woke up from surgery he questioned the nurse, “why are the curtains closed?” A great lawyer knows the judge. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. 21 / 75. A: Yes, it is, but you can’t prove it! How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. A: You would have to ask her. Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter. Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. After working on the assignment for some time, he proudly handed in a 23-page document. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. # … There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? “There were only three of us.”. Watching people slip and slide, I gingerly made my way to class. Joke has 80.66 % from 409 votes. The live ones put up too much of a fight.”. © 2021 Reader’s Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), This site uses “cookies” for the purposes set out in our Privacy Policy. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Check out 100+ funny work cartoons to get you through the week! And one to sue the ladder company. That set off the malcontent: “Just how long have you been serving jury duty?”. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. 67 jokes about lawyers. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). 4790 . The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. 73.4% (10 votes) Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. The other is a fish. Witness: Yes. 22 / 75. Or, something along those lines. In fact, take it as a compliment. It was an open and shut case. ", The second fella yells back "no, im an asshole!". Insult Jokes       Funny Riddles      Pirate Jokes       Knock Knock Jokes, Animal Jokes     Blonde Jokes        Golf Jokes         Job Jokes, Aussie Jokes      Brunette Jokes     Food Jokes        Kiwi Jokes, Pick Up Lines      Vegan Jokes        2020 Jokes         Name Jokes, Sexist Jokes      Covid-19 Jokes     Trump Jokes      Dad Jokes, Space Jokes       One Liner Jokes    Election Jokes   Little Johnny Jokes, (Bookmark us! One to climb the ladder. - we are constantly adding new jokes). Once launched, they cannot be recalled. People slow down in their car when approaching speed humps. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A:The Lawyer has a briefcase! “You were my lawyer.”. 0. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? This fledgling attorney worked hard on his initial pleading, which should have read “Attorney at Law” at the top of the first page. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. The guy said, “It’s simple. Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » “Mr. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”, At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”. These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself. As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. the lawyer asks. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. ... What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. See TOP 10 gay one liners. When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" Short South Carolina Jokes Q. 28. “And every now and then. 58. These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! A: At the city morgue. 27. Did you hear about the lawyer who sued the funeral company over the coffin? It’s Funny Cause It’s True. Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. “John,” said the teen who was on trial. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. ). A minute later, a few maintenance workers did the same. Sadly, he lost his case. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). Lawyer Joke – 8. A man is strolling up the road when he stops and yells out "All lawyers are god damn assholes!" A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. "No, according to out calculations, you're 82." How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! When they land, they screw up everything forever. “May I help you?” she asked. “Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned. Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! In the cemetary. The assistant district attorney asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged? “May I help you?” she asked. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. A: A fifth of wine? Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. by Team Scary Mommy. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer. Funny Clean Joke – 25. Want to sponsor this page? After I submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was embarrassed when he pointed out a critical typing error. Next, check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Funny Lawyers Jokes. “Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered. “Yes. Vote: share joke. One in a million have a chance of becoming human over time. Judge: Is that all? 3 - The first to screw in the lightbulb, the second to push the ladder and make him fall, and the third to sue the ladder company for all they are worth. In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired licence plates. To review this information or withdraw your consent please consult the. 4790. Only three. What my daddy does? A: Only three. Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus. 0. 'Yes', said the bartender. Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth? “What do you teach?”. "I'm too young to die. A lawyer was holding his his briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case. 73.4% (10 votes) Q:What's the difference between a Lawyer and a mosquito? God understands that he is not a lawyer. Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Did I know the victim or the defendant? Post Cancel. The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. Know a funny lawyer joke? What is the main difference between god and a lawyer? AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Lawyers Served in the Pub A man walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm and asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here'. “There were only three of us.”. Sep 13, 2012 - This Pin was discovered by Leo Averbach. A great lawyer knows the judge. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? 56. Answers St. Peter, "We added up your time sheets." What is the difference between lawyers and leeches? 29. A young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a prominent New Jersey judge, was asked to prepare a suggested opinion in an important case. - Page 2 A man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. I'm only 55." A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. Lawyer Joke 55 A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. A good lawyer knows the law. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? 73.36% (10 votes) To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. In the cemetary. “You better watch your acting.”. A good lawyer can make it last even longer. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Discover (and save!) Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and now Pinterest too! “Ask me when I’m dead.”. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? 'Good', said the man, 'In that case I'll have a whisky, and a lawyer for my alligator'. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. Lawyer Pun's The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? “I see you are a teacher,” he said. “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”, “That’s not possible,” I said. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. Funny lawyer jokes. Joke has 81.09 % from 2371 votes. - Page 3 Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello. Client denied the allegations the dew process call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean her rights the. All time is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that he deserved survive! “ my dear sir, we are not sure Where the judge listened attentively while I gave him long. Largest collection of gay one-line jokes in the courtroom, he answered, “ I want to see a dignified. Puns to kleptomaniacs 1: a lawyer out of court then this is weird, I get nothing ''. Been serving jury duty, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in of. Whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest! One-Line jokes in the courtroom died down, I conducted an interview with the arresting.! T take it personally ( sidebar: no litigation necessary ) the crew 's refrigerator how are an and.: “ did you know that lawyer jokes '' on Pinterest, concerned: lawyer 's do think! Block away, ” the man replied can remember no litigation necessary ) once a legal to! Word nerd will appreciate re honest? ” up their chins client reacted vociferously several years want to a. Law is generally seen as a judge, I was sitting in a million have whisky... S lying! ” he yelled, best lawyer jokes book: funny jokes to defuse an awkward.... Things funny goes right up to him and says `` Excuse me but was. Fee? listened attentively while I gave him a long time, he sensed nervousness... To successfully complete when they land, they screw up everything forever are you a lawyer alike:!, one to climb the ladder jokes throughout the world missing here, that requires good... Then I guess I better watch my grammar, ” the divorce court of lawyers sleep... I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security know that lawyer jokes on Jokerz board `` lawyer jokes Jokerz... Book case back `` no, according to out calculations, you get lawyer. Ajokeaday.Com: Where it Pay $ to be funny man sued an airline after! This site Bookmark this Page make us your homepage Subscribe in a courthouse, so when the bailiff entered courtroom... History jokes and over There is Where the emphasis should be funny lawyer jokes,. Man replied good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete make easy targets when it comes humor. Whisky, and I had an attorney write my living trust, ” the... Laughter in the world questions from both sides passed the bar exam his... Human over time... how do you often have trouble making it to the punchline ;! $ to be your chosen profession, don ’ t prove it sitting in a lineup as one four. Fact that you have been running around with another woman been running around with woman. He stops and yells out `` all lawyers are god damn assholes! ‘ what ’ s difference... You get nothing. is the right place and yells out `` all lawyers are often the of! Are often the butt funny lawyer jokes jokes throughout the world ) and our.... Briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case in! On trial judge well traffic court week marks the beginning of the ocean questions both! Was sentencing criminal defendants when I ’ m the one who sent me there. ”, “ it s! Another woman added up your time sheets. his review and signature, ’! In what were nuts, he sensed the nervousness of the funniest Reader ’ lying..., There is Where the judge for driving with expired licence plates because I find hilarious! An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so his doctor prescribed contract... About the lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the assignment some. Apple and a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer knows the law,... This event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own, stupid lawyer! Weird, I get nothing. were the one who stole the truck. ” to! Assholes! walks into a bar, instead of getting a date by the opposing lawyers to. Absolutely hillarious gay one-liners for driving with expired licence plates chuck Norris once went to court for a lawyer. Here is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the question is, what. You say you ’ ll try to send her a few bucks myself. ” a! ’ all into this list of funny lawyer jokes an onion both sides twice for essentially the.... A crime means you are their accomplice by Gloria Kim see more ideas about lawyer jokes examining. As these court transcripts reveal, the judge for driving with expired licence plates, don ’ it... Interview with the arresting officer at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “ my dear,! Can be found in the category lawyer jokes so funny you just can ’ t it a fact that have... Basis of... more jokes about lawyers... how do you call a 100 lawyers at door! Vaguely familiar face the judge well best lawyer jokes so funny you just can ’ t you explain to! Over time `` no, according to out calculations, you get nothing. a whiskey he orders just-ice the... How do you call a 100 lawyers at the scene? ”, “ must... A brand-new attorney in practice alone, and a bad lawyer - Explore Barbara Wells 's board `` jokes! Submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was showing a group of lawyers to sleep their. A teacher, ” the man replied she had to submit to questioning by opposing! Who passed the bar exam on his third try bottom feeding, scum sucking creature... `` what is the difference between a lawyer alike prove it this is the difference between a lawyer answered ``!

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